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By Kathleen Kelley Reardon

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Extra resources for Becoming a Skilled Negotiator

Sample text

If the other person continues to express interest, you might elaborate further. However, if he replies that he’s in a rush himself, you’re likely to keep your remarks to a minimum. In both cases, however, if he thinks of him­ self as polite, he is likely to feel obliged to pause and listen or at least arrange a time when he can be more attentive to you. Those are the rules—implied, not stated. Scripts like these enable us to function in society by guiding us to select acceptable behaviors. Chaos would reign if people said what­ ever they were thinking, whenever it came to mind.

Fran: The last thing either of us wants, Tom, is to waste time. You have been patient, and that has been a considerable help in creating a cooperative mood during most of this negotiation. Tom: Cooperation is critical here. It has to be two-sided. Fran: In that spirit of cooperation, then, why don’t we discuss where to go from here? Here Fran has used Tom’s words to foster a cooperative framework for subsequent discussions. She could have reacted to Tom’s angry, defen­ sive comments but instead chose to redefine the interaction from argument to cooperative exchange.

One thing is certain: failure to adequately address others’ concerns poses a hazard to suc­ cessful negotiation. Related to concerns are emotions. Often people are or become emotionally involved with issues or positions at the heart of nego­ tiations. When I spoke with an entrepreneur who was about to sell his company for around $20 million, he said negotiations had nearly resulted in a deal twice previously—but had fallen through largely because he wasn’t sure he wanted to sell the company he’d made so successful.

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